In today’s world, we are often told what beauty is. There are these crazy beauty standards that are not “real.” Our flaws are constantly being pointed out by the beauty industry, and with that, we are introduced to products that we NEED for correction. Diet culture is all over social media. Whether it is with advertisements or a new diet craze. Khloe Kardashian recently advertised a diet tea which is not FDA approved. Last week Jen_ny69 got bombarded with negative comments body shaming her for being too skinny. I read those comments, and they were mean. Jen_ny69 is a Latina Beauty Influencer, who in my opinion keeps it real, more than most at least. She talks about her struggle of being too skinny, she works out, and she shares her protein-rich shakes that are essential for her body type. She keeps it real and still she is being shammed for it not fitting the “ideal” look. Its mind blowing how women’s bodies are commercialized were constantly told what is wrong with us rather than allowing us to embrace ourselves, flaws and all. Let’s talk about cellulite; we are taught that cellulite is ugly, and most women have a negative perception of it. Did you know that until 1972 cellulite was normal? In 1972 a woman named Nicole Ronsard sold women on the idea that cellulite was a disfiguring attribute. She was featured in Vogue and went on to write a book. She became a millionaire by selling women on the idea that something normal, like cellulite, was the reason they were “disfigured.” Since then women have been sold on the idea that they are imperfect and a multi-billion industry was born. Full disclosure I like taking care of my skin; I like a face mask, moisturizers, serums, and makeup; however, I don’t feel that I obsess over it, or that my worth comes from the way that I take care of my skin. There is a difference between linking “self-care” to self-worth and self-care for the purpose of making you feel good. Personally, I feel accomplished after a kick-ass skin routine before bed. My skin feels fresh, clean, and I feel like I’m ready to take over the world, in my dreams at least. Things get complicated when we start linking eating healthy, exercising, and beauty regimes with our self-worth. Our self-worth comes from the way we view ourselves and no matter how good or bad you take care of yourself and eat it will not change who you are in your core. We are always being sold on the idea that, indeed, if we eat bad, we must be bad and if we eat healthily, we are good. We link negative connotations to food and exercise. Little kids are calorie counting, they are relating a carrot to being good and a brownie to being bad, in case you didn’t get that, children are doing this, and we are enabling it in one way or another. I am no expert on the subject, but as a woman and mother, I see how destructive standards can be. How essential that can be to someone’s mental health. What does healthy look like? What does beautiful look like? The truth is that there is not a right or wrong answer to those questions. Obsessing over looking a certain way or following crazy diet regimes along with exercising 3 times per day won’t make you happy with yourself. Sure, some people enjoy crazy exercise regimes and that ok, no shame, but for those who are following these regimes with the sole purpose of attaining happiness, happiness comes from a different place. I don’t think that we are told enough that happiness is not so black and white. Happiness is unique to everyone. Happiness does not come in a one size fits all. Happiness comes from within, and it has a lot to do with the way we treat ourselves, the way we love ourselves. It’s time to talk about self-love and embracing ourselves in the truest forms. It’s time we take care of our mental health so that we may see beyond aesthetics and find sometimes unrealistic expectations to be the key to happiness. It is so easy to go on social media and look at a collection of people’s best moments and pictures and think that your shit stinks. I used to think that happiness came from things and situations. After Cami was born, I reevaluated everything and I came to find that happiness is a state of being. Happiness comes from moments, seconds, small triumphs, smiles, hugs, and LOVE. Social media and its sometimes-destructive nature is a topic for another time. I feel so strongly about body image and what the world tells us we need to be because as a woman I’ve fallen into the “trap” and as a mother I don’t want my kids to ever feel like they are not good enough because someone tells them they do not fit the status quo. I want my children to follow eating habits and self-care routines, whatever that looks like for them, for the purpose of loving themselves, being the best happiest versions of themselves, and not for the purpose of fitting in. Happiness, what does that look like to you?